GSElevator is the blog for GSElevator, a Twitter account that shares overheard Goldman Sachs gossip. So, having recently covered Tips for Surviving a Goldman Sachs Internship and Attending a Sporting Event With Your Bossmy latest attempt by request is a fresh, succinct, and definitive guide to dressing like an investment banker.

The genesis of this post is simple; American men dress like s Who better to help than the aggregated and infinite wisdom of GSElevatorwith a comprehensive list of business fashion tips from the halls of Goldman Sachs? Most Brits aren't gay, but their socks are.

I wear a brand new pair of socks every day. That's probably my only indulgence. No cuffs and no pleats; pleats are for guys with gunts front asses.

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Belt loops are optional. If you have a decent tailor, rock the side tabs.

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I don't need one; did you forget to get your suit tailored? Actually, side tabs are rather convenient if you are a junior banker. A half or full Windsor are both fine, depending on the thickness of the tie and the spread of the collar.

Handshakes and tie knots. I don't have time for someone that can't master those basic skills. Hermes ties are like Air Jordans for white people. There's nothing pretentious about keeping a tie journal. It keeps me on a solid week rotation.

Is that a brown suit? The back office is in Jersey City, pal. Gucci suits are like Corvettes. They're a great way of telling people you didn't always have money.

Why do people wear wool if alec baldwin stockbroker know cashmere exists? There is no such thing as turtleneck weather. Stick with Polo shirts; no one cares to watch you inevitably mime golf swings. Nothing says douchebag quite like wearing an Augusta golf shirt when the Masters are on.

Wearing a Rolex is like driving an Audi.

It says you've got some money, but nothing to say. Thanks to Hank Paulson, Nike running watches and Livestrong swiss study stockbrokers were to what Lloyd's stubble beard has been to There are quite a few senior guys that still wear a Nike sport watch, intentionally, or even no watch at all.

Forget all about Hublot.

Hublot was a second-rate brand with third-rate craftsmanship until about 15 years ago when they arbitrarily doubled the price and started paying celebrities and stryker stock market figures to wear them.

It's been a marketers wet dream. In New York, don't trust a banker with a pocket square. In London, it's a pinky ring. And in Asia, don't f--king trust anyone.

Like Ambien and red wine, the wrong fashion combination can become a disastrously lethal cocktail of Larry Kudlow-esque proportions.

A double-breasted suit and a blue shirt with a white collar? Was it a rough night in the water bed? Plaid shirt, bow tie, and pocket square is the douchebag trifecta. Finally, "an architect is only as good as his builder, and a fashion designer is only as good as your tailor. There you have it; head to toe.

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